Answered Prayer

September 29, 2009

Change is in the air.

It appears that I, as well as the metaphorical climate, will be turning over a new leave in the next several weeks.

On Monday afternoon, after months of applying and praying for new job opportunities, I got a phone call to interview for a position in Hemet. I interviewed for it, but, for various reasons, I don’t think that job would have been a good fit for me.

On Tuesday afternoon, I got a phone call from the Center for Autism and Related Disorders (CARD) to invite me to a group interview on Friday September 25. I attended the interview. And was informed that I would be invited for the training to become a Junior Therapist for the agency.

Praise God! I have been having such a difficult time with the challenging atmosphere in my current position. God has really been testing my faith. As many of you know (particularly my family members), I am a HUGE worrier. I may or may not have inherited that…. So for the last several months I have been worried that I would be fired, that I would not make enough money, that people would be disappointed in me, that I’m a failure, etc., etc., etc. So one can imagine the relief and peace that I felt just knowing that I had another opportunity somewhere else to do what I love to do.

This morning I got the official call that I was invited to the training to become a Junior Therapist. I submitted my resignation. Due to a series of events not really worth discussing, my last day with B.E.S.T. Services, Inc. will be September 30, 2009. It’s actually a little bit bittersweet. In some regards, I have had such good experiences with this agency. I’ve grown a lot as a person, as a Christian, and as a behavior analyst. I’ve learned many valuable lessons about patience, diligence, perseverance, and grace. I’ve experienced the highs and lows of working with these kids, and I’ve seen the kids grow and develop in ways I would not have thought possible. However, it’s a relief to know that I can continue to do what I love, without feeling so…..depressed. There are of course, things that are still specifics that are unknown at this point. But I have peace about the decision, and I have assurance that the Lord will provide exactly the opportunities that I need. Continue to pray! Prayer is ALWAYS needed!

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Iconic

September 14, 2009

At the risk of sounding whiny, I’ve decided that sharing this is important. With all of the things that have been going on with me in my job situation, it’s been really easy for me to slip into “woe is me” mode. I find myself thinking that I’m not good enough, and that perhaps I misread my calling in life. It’s  a pretty terrible place to be in, and one that I’ve only been in one other time in my life. I’ve had people in my life that have reassured me that this is not the case, what’s happening in my job situation is not because of something I’ve done or not done. What’s happening is inexplicable. What’s happening is not something that anyone fully understands. I’ve done my best to take responsibility for my actions, but I’m learning the difficult lesson that I can’t control what other people think and feel. Thus, my point….

I’ve been going through SHAPE with the young adult ministry at church. We’re discussing our spiritual gifts and the way in which we use them. While I’m recognizing my spiritual gifts within myself, it’s been challenging to truly accept that God has gifted me with something that is worth sharing. One day after work, I was driving home, and I started praying and asking God “are You sure I’m special, are You sure You have a plan?” As if breathing for the first time I was answered with “You are MY masterpiece.” These words poured forth suddenly:

I am fearfully and wonderfully made/Created in Your image/and made to bring You praise/even though I can’t see what You see in me/I am Your masterpiece

Those words have bounced around in my head since that day on the 210. THEN (sorry it’s kind of a long story), on Friday night a wise spiritual leader (my husband) spoke at FUEL. We’ve been going through the book of Matthew, and that particular night he was going over Matthew 23. The chapter is basically Jesus chastising the Pharisees and pointing all of the ways in which they are hypocrites. Paul made the point that there is a difference between an idol and an icon. An idol points to themselves as something to be considered great, an icon points to One that is greater.

Wow.

That was so profound to me. I was touched with the idea that my purpose is not to feel “proud” of myself, but rather I am created to point to my Lord above all else. When I disparage myself, or give into Satan’s lies that I am not worth it, that I am not good enough, I’m taking away from the Goodness of God. After all, I’m created in His image, and He is perfect. Although I am not perfect in any way, my actions and my attitude should not deflect from The Perfection. In the same way that the Pharisees were considered hypocrites by touting themselves as something other than what they were, I too am considered a hypocrite when I fail to live fully in the Perfection of my Savior.

I have decided that I want to be an icon that points to my Jesus.

Praise God that I am made perfect through the blood of Christ!

I’ll try it….

September 10, 2009

My hope is that this blog will be sort of a way for me to share what’s been going on in my life. The good, the bad, the ugly. Without spilling too many details, I’ll let the adoring public know what I’ve been doing, and what God’s been doing in my life. So let’s get started…

I’ve been learning a lot about faith lately. Faith in God, and faith in what God can do through me. I must admit, I’ve been having a hard time really believing that I’m particularly successful. But I’ve been reminded lately, that God has a purpose for everything in my life, even the painful stuff. I’m not sure what the purpose of this current pain is, but I know that God will deliver me and I will be a better person because of it.

This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to sing special music at church. The song was “Yet I Will Praise.” It’s basically a declaration to God that even in the midst of the painful stuff, the difficult stuff, and the hurtful stuff, I will still praise Him. As hard as it was/is to sing those words, I have not been able to get those words out of my head. On the surface, I may not always feel like praising God, but in my heart of hearts I know that I serve an almighty God who has great plans for me. 

I, for one, absolutely cannot wait to see what those plans are.